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Top 10 Secrets to a happy marriage

Finding the happy place in your marriage

Be independent

In order to be happy in a relationship we, as individuals we, must be happy first. With that in mind, wives and husbands must continue to take out time for themselves, enjoy their personal hobbies, and in general, spend some time apart. Not only does absence make the heart grow fonder, but in the time we spend alone, we get to reunite with our spiritual side, re-establish our sense of self and check in with the progress of our personal preferences, goals and achievements.

Be a good listener

While all women should work on the art of active listening, we emphasize this as an area of special attention for men. Too often, men do not realize that all their partner needs from them is a listening ear. This is due to their programming and the way in which they are taught to relate with others. Remember that listening and hearing are not the same thing. Listening involves our hearts. Open yours, hear what she says, look at her while she speaks, paraphrase even and reassure.

Communicate with your partner

By knowing your partner’s preferences and hobbies, metaphors can be used in communication that relate to something the person understands well. Observe the physical way in which your partner shows love. This could be washing your car or picking up the kids. For her, it could be keeping the toiletries stocked and ironing his shirts. Figure out your partner’s love language so you will always know how to speak to him or her.


A major relationship killer, lack of acceptance, is a trait more commonly attributed to women who are known for their nagging. Remember, we married our spouse for who he was then and who he is now. Even if we wanted to change him now, we can’t. When urging or persuading him, you are only focusing on his weaknesses or problems. Change your perspective immediately and start focusing on positive traits instead.

Take responsibility

It is that easy and one of the secrets of a successful marriage. When you participate in a project, take responsibility for your successes and your failures. When you and your partner have a disagreement or argument, remember to take responsibility for your actions, including anything you did or said, especially if it was hurtful, unthoughtful or created adversity.

Never take one another for granted

Taking one another for granted may be the most toxic pathogen of all. Once they are comfortable, it is easy for couples to begin to slip into a complacent state – and expectations form. This is actually only a matter of human nature, as we get comfortable with what is familiar, but in marriage, you absolutely should never come to a place where you take your partner for granted. Pledge to respect your partner indefinitely no matter what. Avoid assumptions and offer to do nice things for your partner whenever possible.

Keep intimacy alive

Sex is very important to a healthy marriage. Sex should be regular and therapists suggest doing it even when you are not in the mood! We suggest keeping it interesting by talking about what pleases you and adding any fantasy role playing, positions or bedroom props you may want to introduce to keep it exciting.


Acknowledging your partner’s positive attributes every day and paying complements, will go a long way in your relationships. Stay positive and keep track of what your spouse does well. When the going gets rough and his not-so-great attributes come forward, rather than focusing ion the negative, try switching gears and point out the positive stuff instead.

Stop controlling

Married people often come to a place where they start to lose themselves, they give in to jealousy or feelings of inadequacy or they forget that they are separate people away from their partners and they may try to control their partners. Most of the time this is done inadvertently, as expectations may grow over time. Communication, independent time and healthy indulgences will keep the couple on track. If you sense you are being controlling or are the controller, get a handle on it or make an appointment for a family counselor.

Don’t talk about divorce

Presuming you don’t really want to get a divorce, don’t threaten to. Couples that use the D-word or talk about separation during fights use this as a control mechanism. Couples using it in a threatening way are more likely to see divorce come to fruition. Making threats is not a mature strategy for solving any problem, so don’t do it.



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