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The Groom's responsibilities

Once you've got your mind right, the practicalities of organizing your wedding start kicking in. Where to start, where to start?

What are the groom's responsibilities for the wedding? You may as well ask, how long is a piece of string? It depends, naturally: on your organisational abilities, on your fiancée, on your budget, on who's paying, on where it's happening, on your powers of delegation... Whatever the size and format of your wedding, though, there is a set of basics that every groom must cover and take full responsibility for. Prioritise these, then do the rest (or just do these and get other people to do the rest):

Deside on the venue, date and guest list with your fiancée. It's a breeze! (Not really.)

Work out a realistic budget with your fiansée... then start paying for stuff. Before you can do this you'll need to sit down and have a mature, business-like conversation with your future in-laws and anyone who is offering to assist you financially. Clarify everything upfront and maintain as much control of the budget as possible. Spreadsheets help.

Choose your best man and groomsmen. Make sure you pick the guys you'll be having braais with in 20 years' time and make sure your best man is comfortable speaking in public.

Arrange their and your outfits. It's actually quite fun, but be mindful of everyone's budget.

Arrange your bride's wedding band... and possibly your own. Note: this is different from the engagement ring.

Arrange the music. It's a man's responsibility and one worth accepting - you may not care too much whether you're having dauphinoise gratin or scalloped potatoes with the main course, but you'll care what tunes are playing on the dance floor afterwards.

Arrange the bar... and, if possible, pay for it.

Arrange transport... for everyone. This means ensuring that all close family have rides to and from the venue sorted as far in advance as possible (it's worth being organised, promise!). Get information on shuttles and cab options to everyone else.

Arrange wedding-night accommodation. Don't skimp just because it's one night only - your (brand-new) wife will never forgive you.

Arrange the honeymoon. It's expensive, pay for it as soon as possible.

Arrive at the altar on time... and in spotless nick without giving your bride-to-be any cause for concern whatsoever, even if the best man goes AWOL and is found in a hedge 45 minutes before the ceremony.

Make a heartfelt, emotional, unforgettable speech... easy-peasy.

Look after your bride... during the planning, throughout the day itself and for the rest of your life.

The groom's responsibilities

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